To Cart or not to Cart?

     So you want to be a proper Costco sampler! Good for you. This is your first step in attaining your dream. Most members would assume that the journey only begins upon entry to the store. This is just not true. The real sampler has to make several decisions before even picking up a cart. Let us begin.
     Do you have the time to truly sample? This should be your first question. It takes time to cook tri-tip and mozzarella sticks. If you are running into Costco for one or two items on the way to pick up little Johnny from soccer, bypassing all samples is the way to go. You might be able to chug a grape juice on the way to the checkout but this usually leads to spilling and stains.
     Also if your in a hurry it can lead to impatient toe tapping , low grumbles, and loud sighs as you wait for mashed potatoes to come out of the microwave. These help no one. In fact you will find that all equipment and demonstrators mysteriously slow down, while cooking and cooling times get longer. I only have to hit 155 degrees with the pork chops but if a member is mumbling about how long its taking and then gives me an impatient look I may suddenly feel the need to heat that chop to 165 degrees and then let it cool while I wash, rinse, and sanitize my cart. This can take upwards of 15 minutes if you also look at your watch or cell phone.
     Second question: Do I need a cart? You may not even be purchasing an item at Costco, but are simply coming in for samples. This is ok but please for the love of God and all that is holy leave the giant carts outside. There is no rule that says you have to make a purchase to enjoy the samples, but many members feel the need to “pretend” they are making purchases by walking around with a cart that has one or two items only to abandon the whole thing later. These are the dreaded FAUX-SHOPPERS. The carts take up space and block other members who are legitimately shopping. And several times a day these faux-shoppers will slam the empty carts into a demo table in an attempt to move out of the way. How would you like it if I rammed a cart into your desk at work just so that I could get a few M&Ms out of your candy dish?
     The worst though is the member who uses the seat in the giant cart to hold multiple samples. There are few things more infuriating than putting out a tray of samples only to have a faux-shopper swoop in and empty said tray into the front of their empty cart. Once a faux shopper has been identified counter measures are put into action though. First all demonstrators are alerted. Then the anti faux-sampler tactical plan A is set into motion. Within minutes the faux-sampler will find that trays are either void of samples (these are cooling sir/ma’am) or have one small piddly sample. Plan B involves…well lets just say eventually you get a nickname and security may be notified. Don’t be greedy, take one and move on.
So remember
Do I have the time?
Do I need a cart?By asking these two simple questions you can make your sampling experience much more enjoyable and keep your demonstrators happy. Happy demonstrators mean bigger samples.

STAY TUNED AND HAPPY SAMPLING!

An Introduction.....

        
     Most people assume that because I work in Costco I work for Costco. This is simply not true. I work for WDS. Warehouse Demonstrator Services. This is a little known company that is actually contracted by Costco and others to sell products exclusively to Costco members. Think... Shamwow with a red apron and hairnet. Unless of course your in Japan where the aprons are blue. It is my job to "demonstrate" to you, the member, some exciting ways you can use the items on sale at Costco. This means everything from candy, pizza, and popcorn chicken to French imported cheese and paper towels. And while I am demoing there are some key things I must be doing to insure that every member gets the same great sampling experience.
     First, the aforementioned uniform: white or black collared shirt, black pants, non-skid shoes, red apron, hairnet and gloves, and if I so chose a jaunty red baseball cap. Absolutely NO piercings in, tattoos showing, and nail polish.
     Secondly I need to be talking ALL THE TIME. By all the time I mean, if I am not talking then they will hire someone else who will. This is the most important part of the job because if I am not talking I am not selling. And if I am not selling what is the point, right?
     Lastly, I am not allowed to be rude to the members. You see, this is the part I am having the most difficulty with as of late. It seems that even though free samples have been in Costco for over 20 years, no one knows the basics of Costco sampling etiquette. Members are just running willy-nilly around Costco stuffing their gullets with as many samples as they can hold and contaminating the rest. There is reason we are serving things in individual paper baking cups with a spork, and its not because it is the best way to eat ravioli. The time has come for education. The world may be going to hell, but by God people are going to learn how to sample properly. There is nothing more frustrating than having to throw away a tray of tri-tip because some dumbass *cough* I mean member decided to smell them all.

On this note I will bid you ado. But stay tuned and Happy Sampling.